June 4th, 2009
So in a brief moment of insanity, I decided to take a few mickeys on a float trip with their new raft, down the lower Blue, Colorado.
After watching their brand new raft careen down the put in, I assured them that the worst was over. Which of course was a shallow promise, because at best, I am a smelly carp fisherman with a drinking problem.
At 780 cfs, she wasn’t too bad. The Wall was manageable and the wiers only required a little scooting.
These guys had about as much time on the sticks as Landon Mayer has NOT holding a big brown trout on the cover of Fly-Fisherman. So needless to say after a few run-ins with various downed trees and river banks, I decided I better row to make sure we got the pull out dry and alive. 45 minutes of fishing, six and a half hours of rowing. BLISTERS! Did manage to get one fish.
They say insanity is doomed to reappear in individuals who have walked in its shadow.
Taking the same boys on the same float tomorrow. You will be debriefed at end of mission.
Tags: bitch, Blisters, Blue, colorado, noobs, rainbow, Teasdale
Posted in Things You Didn't Hear From Us | No Comments »
June 2nd, 2009
The man with football in hands in none other than Texas Carp Stalker Joel Hays. This is a guy who knows his shit when it comes to landing big spooky buffalo in the end zone. Joel runs a guiding service out of Dallas, Fort Worth area and can be found tip toeing through the shallows at Ray Roberts Lake stalking the elusive Buffalo. If you’re in the area and need to stick some smelly, reach out to Joel for some good times and tight lines. Check out the pic below…Fine work from brother Joel.
Dude, keep the margaritas cold…I’m coming soon!
Tags: brethren, buffalo, carp, DFW, fishing, Joel Hays, Texas
Posted in Big Balls And Impeccable Manners | 2 Comments »
May 29th, 2009
We did believe for a while…That there was no such thing as a Mexican fly fisherman. All kidding aside, the Vato can catch fish, and is also a baddass on the vice (Under the gun of course with dog’s in tow).
Nice shirt PUTO!
…The Juarez ball goggler strikes again!
Tags: butters, carp, fisherman, Juarez, Luna, mexican fly fishing, vato
Posted in Say Hello To My Little Friend | 2 Comments »
May 27th, 2009
Let me introduce our good friends and fellow non conformist urbanites, Eburt and Bunny. Primalfly’s own SEO dude, and post apocalyptic farmer-Everett Sizemore. He sucks at fly fishing, but makes a mean wheel of homemade cheddar. Everett is one of the top ranked SEO analysts in the nation, and knowing that this backwoods-Kentucky-misfit can make shit happen gives us Primalfly Hooligans hope (Insert “Dueling Banjos” medley please).
Everett recently had some guests from the Denver Post over at the suburban mini-farm to scratch around the henhouse. The Denver Post thought it was newsworthy to write about our brotha E, and sista B and rightfully so. I am still wondering when his damn chickens are gonna lay some eggs? Additionally, we are all placing bets on when he is going to get stung by the huge crop of bees he’s got festering in the backyard. It seems that all the animals on the farm got considerable mention, except for bulldogs (Primalfly Mascots) Ivan the Terrible, and Agnes. Dude, I gotta tell ya, my dogs are pissed that their buddies weren’t mentioned and had thoughts of getting you drunk and dry humping your face off…luckily I included a pic of Agnes and Ivan to calm the natives and keep the heelers at bay. I consulted with Everett’s boss and charming wife Bunny about this and she confirmed the Bulldogs were busy knawing on the legs of the taggers that defaced farmer eburts garage.
So anyway Eburt…how’s my ranking’s looking you non-blackhatin beaotch! And WTF is up with my honey you promised?
In closing I’m sure Grant Wood-would approve, and when the zombies do come…rest assured Teasdale will provide the protection and Sizemore will provide all the good organic food and fixins. YeeHaw!
Tags: bulldogs, Denver Post, SEO, sizemore, urbanites
Posted in Pass Me That There Early Times | 3 Comments »
May 26th, 2009
Tom Teasdale is known for catching some honkers. It’s in his blood - he’s a fine angler indeed. He picks his flies carefully, has a deadly accurate casting stroke, and even bathes in preparation for each outing…
Sadly, all that scrubbing doesn’t impress the ladies of the Colorado Department of Wildlife. They are gorgeous, and he is…uh…forget that one. Ok…they are armed, and he is armed. But when he offers to show them his gun, they decide they have much better things to do.
Like boogie on downstream. We think Tom needs a new rap.
More [lonely] bubble bath action coming your way soon.
Tags: body stench, brownlining, bubble baths, Colorado Department of Wildlife, firearms cleaning, Tom Teasdale
Posted in If It Doesn't Swim, Shoot It Twice | 2 Comments »
May 15th, 2009
Yeah, I’ve got a problem with this…
They say invasive species. And they’re right. I say highly intelligent, elusive, challenging…downright one of the most formidable game fish that exists today. And I’m right too.
The common carp has been introduced to waters across our land, and in many cases it has become a nuisance. Destroying vegetation, turning grass flats into mud flats. The fish is on a number of state wildlife management organizations’ invasive species lists. On this we all agree.
But, my colleagues and I have also heard of bowfishing (as well as other like-kind slaughters) where multitudes of carcasses were dumped in nearby refuse bins, or simply left in an obscure backwater to rot. In other words, we’re not necessarily buying the good-guys-cleaning-up-a-problem image that participants in the massacres are trying to convey.
Can’t we find a better way?
Tags: bowfishing, carp, invasive species, wildlife management
Posted in Things You Didn't Hear From Us | 11 Comments »
May 7th, 2009
My purportedly good friend Tom Teasdale (a.k.a. Hater of Idyllic Settings) is hanging in the Carolinas right now. As a man who enjoys hearing about others’ fishing success, I caught it through the grapevine that Teasdale was having some good luck - so I pinged his cell phone with a congratulations. I got this back…
Don’t be jealous. I named the tarpon Gracie, punched him in the face, and then he swam away. It was like you were here with me.
I’ve since broken into the Primal Fly website and posted this trash. I’ve also hacked together a back door, so there’s no way this Teasdale punk (or any of the other Primal Fly bitches) can keep me out. Let’s hope the only sane one of the bunch, Erin, doesn’t get wind of this.
Who’s doing the punching now?
Tags: bitches, saltwater, Tom Teasdale
Posted in Arrogance For The Next Millennia | 1 Comment »
