Back from our Mission-Trout, Technology, and the Warfighter

August 17th, 2009

Hey Folks. its been a long time since we have come up for air. We believe Teasdale has been lost on the Blue during his last hog-trout mission. Gracie is deep six scheming the worlds next big technology feat (Also attending moose defense classes), and James has been on assignment supporting the Warfighter and playing with the worlds latest and greatest spy toys.

Collectively our lives have been very busy but the Primalfly team BITCHES will re-unite this week for the Carp Slam, so we can all stick some smelly. More details to follow.

Supporting our Troops

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The Future of SATCOM

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Oh yeah, we couldn’t leave you without a wee bit of PORN!

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P.S. Butters Luna was last seen at a Burrito eating contest…..

Field Notes-Lake Michigan Flats fishing

July 2nd, 2009

Our very own resident Dr. “Aaron SEEMS Seymour” was back in the hometown with some time to kill. Below are his notes from the day,…Thanks for sharing you out of town bitch.

Lake Michigan Flats

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It was a warm early summer Day in Northern Michigan; the streams were still too high to be successful for trout. I decided to re-visit some old smallmouth haunts with a fly rod, instead of dealing with the high water in some of the famous Michigan trout streams. I loaded my gear, jumped in the truck and set a course for Waugoshance Point on Lake Michigan. Waugoshance Point is located in Wilderness State Park and sits approximately 8 miles east of Mackinaw City. The area is primitive wilderness located on the shores of Lake Michigan. The water is crystal clear, laced with boulders, back bays and stretches for approximately 4 miles. The area is suited for sight fishing in 1 to 4 ft of water, perfect for fly fishing spawning smallmouth.

As I started to lace up my 8 wt, a chill ran down my spine anticipating the day’s activity. I opened my fly box and selected a #6 black leach pattern, threw in a wad of grizzly chewing tobacco and headed toward the water. As I approached the water I noticed two nice sized Smallmouth cruising the area in the shallows foraging for food, that instance I knew it would be a good day. The first cast I laid out was short, the second was perfect. I let the fly sink to the bottom and started a slow methodical retrieve back and within seconds I noticed three smallmouths hunting the twitching leach. The fish were darting in and out of the perimeter of the fly, and then one hungry aggressor decided to take a bite. I lifted my fly rod and the fight was on, running line, jumping and slashing the water, pound for pound these fish are some of the best. The rest of the day I hiked the shores and hunted fish, and smiled each time I released these magnificent specimens to the water. The fish were plentiful, the temperature was in the 60s and sunny, what a day, what a place, what good memories. I will be returning next year hopefully with some of the primal fly bitches. If you do decide to go, make sure to practice catch and release so we may enjoy days like this in the future.

Cheers,

Aaron Seymour (AKA Seems)

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We WILL be expecting some Carp Porn from you real soon Seymour. Bitch.

Urban Carp Myths Exposed

June 29th, 2009

Not a bad weekend for the Bitches of Primalfly targeting urban carp with our very long sticks. The warming water is putting the fish into a ferocious spawning mode and the pods are crashing everywhere in the shallows. The skeptics seem to think that fish won’t feed during spawn mode, but this is not true. We have been hooking into fat egg ridden and milt filled fish spewing smelly goodness all over the place. Clearly, everyone needs a snack after a little love making and carp are no exception. The majority of fish have been taken on Snyder’s homegrown jumbo-red-sparkle chronomids, and plain black and/or purple H2O leeches using a strip-and-pause presentation, casted to shallow water mudders and rooting fish.

Butters Luna landed a sweet 30lb plus grassie on a black leech, thus spanking the theory that these fish are pure vegetarian. Quite frankly, the grassies are extremely aggressive, and you can plan on seeing your backing within seconds after a hook up. You’ll wind up fighting these slobs for 15-30 minutes on even robust 7-8wt set ups. We have also been banging grassies on damsels, hoppers, and baetis emergers, which proves they are simply omnivores (and we need to update the biology books). The last monster grassie James took was on a size 18 olive damsel emerger.

Here is a little porn for your viewing pleasure…


Michael “Milt” Gracie - Hooked Up

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Butters “The Wild Manchee” Luna - Hooked Up

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Brother Johnny with a Miltliscious Mudder

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Wipe that grASS Porn smirk off your face!

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Snide, with a Miltious Maximus Japorrtunity

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Grassie taken top water on a size 18 Damsel Emerger

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Got MILT?

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Save the Smellies

June 25th, 2009

“We just think this is way uncool” …And there is a better way.

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Why can’t we start designating specific lakes/ponds/ as “Carp Sanctuary’s” where our smellies can live long as prosper and not have to endure through these mindless killings. We would rather see fish moved to an environment where they wont interfere with the reproduction of other game species. We have designated Trout lakes, designated Bass lakes,…Why not designated glory holes for our brownline stank?

Relocation…not eradication.

Anti-zombie training session

June 23rd, 2009

At 13:00 hours on Jun 14, 09 members of Primal Fly Anti-Zombie Force embarked on yet another training regiment involving target engagement, medium range standing rifle, and survival pistol.

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All members performed within PFAZF standards and excelled in many disciplines. With all reports in from field commanders, preparation for impending zombie apocalypse seems to be on course. In this commander’s opinion, our forces should be well trained on Z-Day. With the addition of Anti-Zombie Fighters Gregory Drapeau, Nathan Taylor, and Special Ops member, code name “Whiskey”, our Rocky Mountain 998th Division seems to be well rounded and fully capable. With the continued addition of ammunition, weapons, and survival supplies to our already impressive stockpile, our survival should be well insured.

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Further training memos to follow.

CMNDR Thomas Teasdale
RM998th PFAZF (Primalfly Anti Zombie Force)

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P.S. Yes, that is a Class III accessory, and yes it is legal. Please research local laws before posting uneducated replies.

Props for the Pops

June 21st, 2009

I’d like to take this opportunity to first say Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there who got us bitches involved in fishing…We owe them BIGTIME for this!

Additionally, I’d also like to send some props out to Big Daddy Snyder, and Gramps.

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Pops, I give you thanks for the following and I speak collectively for all us brothers-

* Teaching me how to ride dirtbike’s
* Introducing me to the Benny Hill Show
* Helping me build my first cherry hot rod (1971 Dodge Charger/440 Six Pack)
* Kicking the neighbors ass when he threatened me, Teaching me how to be a badass hellion
* Encouraging me to deflower the entire elementary school population
* Leaving your smoker films in the attic for our review
* Teaching me how to shoot firearms
* Teaching us to drive it like we stole it
* Your X rated vocabulary and expert training on how to roast your best friends
* Teaching me what it means to be a dick, we love you for it:)
* Introducing us to raw clams on the halfshell

And Grandpa…Thank you so much for-

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* Bringing your wiseass son into this world (Our Dad)
* Being a masterly angler and teaching us how to Flyfish
* Teaching us how to hunt
* Extending the teachings of a master Hooligan
* Teaching us what selfless means, and how to be righteous
* Teaching us about respect, honor and dignity
* Being the most kind hearted genuine person in our world!

Happy Fathers Day to you and yours, now go fish!

…The Aftermath (Viewer discretion advised)

June 18th, 2009

The weekend trip to the North Hills Sand Dunes was full of surprises. We hit a wicked hail storm on the way out but as Friday night drew near the skies turned clear and the Wyoming sunset was ours for the taking. We headed out with a crew of 15 or so MX and ATV peeps. Friday night was a blast we rode into the night and partied fireside till the wee morning hours. Next day we got an early start in the sand and it was SWEEEEET!

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It wasn’t till Saturday afternoon when things got scary…

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Primalfly’s own Erin (pictured above) got into a near-fatal accident, and it was a traumatic nail biting experience for the entire crew. Erin is a highly experienced rider, but sometimes “shit happens” - in this case it did so tenfold. While driving out to the dunes, Erin accidentally hit a washout and flipped over her handlebars. She put her arms out to break the fall and royally jacked her left one. The elbow bent 180 degrees backwards, ripping through her skin, pulling all the muscles, tendons and ligaments away. Additionally, she severed the main artery in her arm, and started bleeding profusely. Luckily, Brother Jon found Erin only minutes later and applied a tourniquet. She was out of it and in shock in a matter of minutes - paramedics arrived promptly and called an airlift in immediately. Unfortunately, a tornado warning delayed the chopper, so we waited urgently in the ambulance. An hour had went by and still no chopper - I said dude…WTF! We have to go! NOW! So, with that said we began the arduous 6 mile trek down the bumpy dirt road, only to wind up pulling a 90 mile trip to the nearest hospital…in Laramie Wyoming.

Let me just tell you, when paramedics start losing their cool about stablizing someone…especially when it’s a loved one….this is a conversation that leaves a gaping hole into your soul.

We arrived at Laramie and doctors told me she is lucky to be alive, but she will lose the arm. We are not out of the woods yet…she needs life-flighting to a trauma facility that can treat these injuries accordingly. We are just not staffed to handle this type of trauma. FUUUUCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!! An hour later, Erin gets a helicopter ride to Loveland Trauma Center, Colorado. They didn’t have room on the chopper for me, but luckily our mini-bitch Gracie hit overdrive, pulling a four and a half hour round-trip to scoop me up.

Erin ended up with a massive five hour surgery, and had some angels in her corner. The doctors were amazed to have saved her arm. They cut some veins out of her leg to splice the severed artery. She is now stable and on the road to recovery. The bike is trashed, but who cares - Erin is one tough chick to grind it out. You can see from the pictures this was no carnival.

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In closing, I expect extreme personalities will remain in a state of flux, searching for the next level of fulfillment…and in turn sometimes be contempt by those consequences. I guess that’s the chances we take to lead an adventurous lifestyle.

I’d like to add, there is something to be said about living regret free: don’t sweat the small stuff. Try and love everyone around you and don’t hesitate to be righteous when the opportunity arises. People, friendships, family…it’s all that really matters. Be good to each other - you could easily blink an eye, and it could all be gone.

Much love and respect for all who lended a hand these last few days.

James

Countdown…

June 12th, 2009

The crisp crack of the throttle…Smell of 111 Octane…Bonfires, Libations, and MX havoc in the wee morning hours…

…The thrill of getting paddled!

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Stay tuned for the aftermath.

Superheroes do exist!

June 10th, 2009

We have dedicated this post to our very own caped crusader, finance geek, technology guru, and less than masterly fly fishing brother-Michael Gracie. It takes a big set of cahones to show up at an extremely dry, intensely conformist fly fishing event unveiling the true identity of what fly fishing has been missing for it’s entire existence. This dudes very “being” desecrates every fragile, and pretentious fiber that binds the blase’ history of fly fishing together and we think it’s way cool FUCKING LOVE IT!. Who said fly fishing wasn’t fun and its time we hooligans open the kimono and show the peeps what time it is-You dig!

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We thought of calling him Orgasmo but it was already taken. Please respond with what you think this superhero’s name should be. The winner will receive some Primalfly schwag and a free *trout snob bashing trip to a river of your choice. (insert Shaft theme here)

* Trout-Snob bashing must be within 150 Miles of Denver
* Airfare not included
* Accommodations provided at the Primalfly Compound

A Night with MOWER

June 5th, 2009

San Diego demon rockers came to Dtown and represented proper at the Marquis Theater sharing the stage with Hed PE, and Dirtball. The aftershow party with Primalfly was nothing less than wicked!

Show me those devil horns bitches!

MOWER demon vocalists Brian and Dom

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MOWER bassist Chris and Bitch James

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MOWER tour manager Casey, Primalfly’s Erin, and Bassist Chris

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Dom and Erin

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Dom and one wasted Primalfly Bitch

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Check out their website and show these bitches some love, its by far some of the baddest music on the planet! BITCH!