Archive for the ‘Pass Me That There Early Times’ Category

Urban Gothic

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

Let me introduce our good friends and fellow non conformist urbanites, Eburt and Bunny. Primalfly’s own SEO dude, and post apocalyptic farmer-Everett Sizemore. He sucks at fly fishing, but makes a mean wheel of homemade cheddar. Everett is one of the top ranked SEO analysts in the nation, and knowing that this backwoods-Kentucky-misfit can make shit happen gives us Primalfly Hooligans hope (Insert “Dueling Banjos” medley please).

Everett recently had some guests from the Denver Post over at the suburban mini-farm to scratch around the henhouse. The Denver Post thought it was newsworthy to write about our brotha E, and sista B and rightfully so. I am still wondering when his damn chickens are gonna lay some eggs? Additionally, we are all placing bets on when he is going to get stung by the huge crop of bees he’s got festering in the backyard. It seems that all the animals on the farm got considerable mention, except for bulldogs (Primalfly Mascots) Ivan the Terrible, and Agnes. Dude, I gotta tell ya, my dogs are pissed that their buddies weren’t mentioned and had thoughts of getting you drunk and dry humping your face off…luckily I included a pic of Agnes and Ivan to calm the natives and keep the heelers at bay. I consulted with Everett’s boss and charming wife Bunny about this and she confirmed the Bulldogs were busy knawing on the legs of the taggers that defaced farmer eburts garage.

So anyway Eburt…how’s my ranking’s looking you non-blackhatin beaotch! And WTF is up with my honey you promised?

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In closing I’m sure Grant Wood-would approve, and when the zombies do come…rest assured Teasdale will provide the protection and Sizemore will provide all the good organic food and fixins. YeeHaw!

Ugly Bugs, Brownline Thugs & Tying Under the Gun

Saturday, May 2nd, 2009

When not rolling La cosa nostra style, strongarming the local shop keep for the latest Umpqua offerings, we sometimes feel the urge to break out da vise and produce killer bugs created simply to slay fish. Our experience has been the uglier the better, and this could very well be spawned from Teasdale’s experience with women.

Now that the wiley bitch of spring is almost here, waters are warming and fish are starting to move out of thier wintering holes and into the shallows to feed. We will start introducing our bigger, narly’r, freakish patterns and rejoicing to the sounds of screaming drags and autonomous, ubiquitous boners.

As slum dog millionaires of the neighborhood turd canals we prefer to stalk fish in the shallows and target mudders and rooters as a collective penchant, and as a result we’re compelled to arm our brethren with some of our most volatile stank water ammunition. A tactical approach is preferred - a single bug tied with some long light flouro to enable an extremely delicate and non intrusive pitch into the drink. We have found that tying in a bit o’ flash, and alot of extra hackle…maribou, and legs creates a trigger for shallow water fish scanning the flats. It seems that when a bug is presented in the 4 to 10 inch radius of the fishes narrow frontal view and it creates a small “ploom” of silt….it is a mad attractant to foraging swine.

Here’s a couple of our deadly bugs (with the exception of the last, less than masterly, good only by name- carp fly)…

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And if we’re feeling lazy that day, we might make you our tying BITCH…

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This man lived (but just barely).

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Who ever said the Primalfly dudes weren’t nice guys. Shit, we provided the tying materials!